written on january 25, 2012; just thoughts of a high school girl.
Today, I just want to block the world out.
I'm tired of people and I'm tired of their antics.
I want the words popular and loser to be erased.
Feeling worthless isn't what I was made for.
I know that. Jesus said that.
Then when do I feel like I am?
Why does my world seem to be empty?
Everyone else's seems to be full of life.
But is anyone real?
Anyone?
They say they are; they say they're honest.
But I don't think they are.
Because if everyone was real, we'd all understand.
We'd know we don't have live up to perfection.
Status wouldn't matter.
Money wouldn't get you places.
Clothes wouldn't label you.
You wouldn't be defined by your past.
Everyone would have a friend.
When someone looked you in the eye, you wouldn't have to turn away.
Because you'd know that really, they're just like you.
That they have fears.
Dreams.
Questions.
Passion.
Hurt.
Potential.
But instead, everyone keeps everything locked in their heart, unspoken, never heard.
I trudge through life with friends of my own, and you trudge with yours.
You pass me by, never knowing me past my name.
Never seeing all the potential lying beneath the surface.
No, instead we separate.
Our paths Y off.
You go your way.
I go mine.
You don't know me.
You don't know that I question my worth.
You don't know that I want to know you.
That I care about your past and hope your future's bright.
That even though I'm not "popular," I do matter.
I matter to Jesus.
You matter to Jesus.
That we're all His kids.
That on days like today, I just want to block the world out.
But then I remember how beautiful it can be.
Because He came to save it.
Anna, you should sooo write a book!! because you have this talent where once someone starts reading what you wrote, they just can't stop :) this is sooo true, though! i definitely have days where i'm just soo sick of ppl's fakeness, wishing there was someone out there not afraid to be themselves, ya know?? anyways, hope ur having an amazing week and keep writing for Jesus <3
ReplyDelete~Chelsea<3
I'm sorry for days like that **hugs** 'Tis good to remember, though, that God is good even on our bad days, and He always sends us a bit of cheer on gloomy, rough days.
ReplyDeletelovelovelove,
~soul sis
o.y. {you matter to me :)}
o.y.
ReplyDeleteI heartily agree with Chelsea here....Anna, you need to write a book, someday, about your life. I think it would be a pretty big hit =)
hey there Anna. I'm a new follower. Thank you for sharing. I can still remember being in highschool (i didn't come to know Jesus until I was 19) and feeling exactly what you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteI was "popular" by the worlds standards but I never belonged anywhere. I never felt comfortable sharing my heart with anyone. I survived four years of listening to others and keeping all my pain and thoughts to myself never once really being able to reach out until Senior year with a Christian (backslidden) friend of mine.
But yeah, all of that to say that GOD completely used/uses all of the junk we go through. Even mundane days. Even days full of pain. Days full of hopelessness.
If we remember to turn back to the Father through the blood of Jesus Christ He is so quick to remind us of who we serve. The pain may still be there or hurt. But the peace that surpasses all understanding quickly covers it for us and we are given the strength to go another day.
Or in your case, wake up and go to school again.
Pray for your friends and pray especially hard for those who hurt you or those who ignore you...
Highschool is a battleground and the enemy tends to win alot :). But greater is HE who is in us than HE who is in the world.
Love your blog and heart for the Lord.
Such an encouragement.
Please keep writing your heart out as if Jesus were reading.
He is :).
♥CheChe
http://savedthrulove.blogspot.com