blue like jazz is a good book

I don't think we get it. And by 'we' I mean Christians, myself included. I just finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and it made me take a few steps back and think, "What am I doing? Am I really being Jesus to people? Do I really have faith? Is this real? Am I real?"

If you go get the book, don't automatically jump to the conclusion that I agree with everything in it. I don't. I don't think Christians should cuss just because and I certainly don't think South Park is a great show to watch (read the book, you'll understand.) I agree with about 90 something percent of it, and it's probably in my top three favorite books of all time.

We are called to love people, called to be different. We aren't doing that. Just look at how the media portrays us. We're seen as people who loathe homosexuals and non-Christians and Democrats. Reality check, they're people, too. And Jesus said to love everyone. Not just our brothers and sisters in Christ (which, by the way, is way harder than we say it is.)

And another thing, why are we so flustered by other Christians sinning? As if we don't? I have all these questions, healthy questions for a Christian college kid, I think.

“I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God. I was into habit.” 

I think maybe this has been me. Not completely, but kind of. I don't want to be religious though, I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus like I'm meant to. I want to see people through His eyes. That's what I want. And yet only God can rid me of me, piece by piece, lesson by lesson.

“At the end of the day, when I am lying in bed and I know the chances of any of our theology being exactly right are a million to one, I need to know that God has things figured out, that if my math is wrong we are still going to be okay. And wonder is that feeling we get when we let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want God to follow. I don't think there is any better worship than wonder.”

When did we lose sight of that? Following God isn't algebra II. It's not something that can be boiled down to an equation. God is God. I don't know anything, He knows everything. And because that's true, everything's gonna be okay. 

today is a revival

for a while i'd been really... down. i wouldn't say depressed, because i wasn't. i still found reasons to laugh and food still tasted good. i didn't want to shut myself in a room and dim the lights to think sad thoughts. but i wasn't living life to the fullest. and my heart felt it.

it's a hard feeling to explain, i'm not even sure if it has a name, but it's somewhere between happy and sad. it wasn't really apathy (believe me, apathy and i are well acquainted) and it wasn't nostalgia. i wasn't missing the past, but at the same time, i wasn't looking forward to the future.

this may sound silly to some of you, and that's okay. it's the truth.

i wasn't seeking God, and my life felt purposeless.

sure, i was attending church on sundays and raising my hand in sunday school. i was singing the old hymns and the new praise and worship songs. but i wasn't truly trying to grasp Him, to reach out and take what He was offering me. i wasn't reading the Word outside of church, or praying for direction or to convey His love to others.

my mom noticed my change in behavior (she's a good mom like that) and pointed out i hadn't been spending time with God. i didn't want to admit it, but i knew she was right.

so we started doing morning devotion together. and as crazy as it may seem, i instantly noticed a change. the world felt more hopeful, my life more meaningful. i wanted to take chances, i wanted to know people, i wanted to take it all in.

God is what makes life good. 

He has given us so much to be thankful for. there is nothing to fear, and so many reasons to love.

in the words of steve moakler, "today is a revival." and you're more than welcome to attend.