more heart, less attack

be the light in the crack
be the one that's mending the camel's back
slow to anger, quick to laugh
be more heart and less attack

--bear and bo, who pen inklings of me and put them to beautiful music

this year, i will live these lyrics. that's my only goal. i have been at college for four days now and this is all my heart can think about. i want to be noticeably different. not in the "oh look at that freak" kind of different (though i'm sure some will think that), but the "wow she is so sincere" kind of different. the "i want what she has" kind of different. the "maybe the reason she is genuine is because it's not her it's Jesus" kind of different.

matthew tells us that we are to be salt and light, bringing flavor and radiance to an otherwise bland and dark world. it seems to me that i need to invite everyone into my city on a hill, not just the ones that appear to be good candidates. each and every person that knocks on my door should be welcomed with open arms because they are a child of God.

"...let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father." --matthew 5:16

it is so easy to look past the people that are a little too clingy, a little too nosy, a little too partyish, a little too loud, a little too quiet, a little too good. what if Jesus had looked past you? what if He'd said "well anna's too insecure and always feels like she needs a friend. why should i die for her?" i need to clean my spiritual glasses, 'cause lately they've been foggy. rain would do me some good.

i stuck my hat out
i caught the raindrops
i drank the water
i felt my veins block
i'm nearly sanctified
i'm nearly broken
i'm down the river
i'm nearly open
i'm down the river
to where i'm goin'