today is a revival

for a while i'd been really... down. i wouldn't say depressed, because i wasn't. i still found reasons to laugh and food still tasted good. i didn't want to shut myself in a room and dim the lights to think sad thoughts. but i wasn't living life to the fullest. and my heart felt it.

it's a hard feeling to explain, i'm not even sure if it has a name, but it's somewhere between happy and sad. it wasn't really apathy (believe me, apathy and i are well acquainted) and it wasn't nostalgia. i wasn't missing the past, but at the same time, i wasn't looking forward to the future.

this may sound silly to some of you, and that's okay. it's the truth.

i wasn't seeking God, and my life felt purposeless.

sure, i was attending church on sundays and raising my hand in sunday school. i was singing the old hymns and the new praise and worship songs. but i wasn't truly trying to grasp Him, to reach out and take what He was offering me. i wasn't reading the Word outside of church, or praying for direction or to convey His love to others.

my mom noticed my change in behavior (she's a good mom like that) and pointed out i hadn't been spending time with God. i didn't want to admit it, but i knew she was right.

so we started doing morning devotion together. and as crazy as it may seem, i instantly noticed a change. the world felt more hopeful, my life more meaningful. i wanted to take chances, i wanted to know people, i wanted to take it all in.

God is what makes life good. 

He has given us so much to be thankful for. there is nothing to fear, and so many reasons to love.

in the words of steve moakler, "today is a revival." and you're more than welcome to attend.